Unboxing

Schrödinger's boxes, inward smiles and heart melts.

My copies of the new book The Gift Gatherers arrived on Saturday. I see unboxing videos on Instagram, authors ripping open boxes, delighted smiles on their faces. Oh look! I sometimes wonder if they quietly look and then rebox them up again for the film. Or maybe they think they can always re-film it if it isn’t delightful, or maybe they have enough confidence to just gleefully open it in public. But I always think how do you do that? Your focus is on the camera, not on the book.

My experience of unboxing my new book goes something like this.

The couriers say they are on their way. I feel a dread and excitement in my stomach but I also start doing other things. So I heard they were coming on Friday, then a oh your parcel is delayed, argh no, then they are coming Saturday. You get the hour window and I try and distract myself with other things and keep refreshing the app till I see the little van is coming. As I also have my own online shop for my creatures, I also have my own online bookshop to sell my books too. Makes sense. I make 10 times as much as if you buy elsewhere, so it makes sense to sell to those who follow me. But I also love and support local bookshops too. Anyway, I don’t just get my 10 author copies, but also the mountain of boxes I’ve ordered in for the preorders. So, 310 books arrived in the garage (gulp I hope I sell them cos that’s a lot to be squirrelled away in a tiny shed) Anyway, I ran round and grabbed a box and brought it into the shed.

Then this is what happens every single time. This is my 13th book and it never gets easier. I put the box down and stare at it. I then start to do something else.

This time I tidied a shelf that didn’t need tidying.

I rearranged the animals on the shelf

I swept the floor.

I went to look for printer paper.

I cooked dinner

I sat and had a cup of tea.

I walked the dog.

I decided I simply must make a shrew this very minute.

All the while the box just sat there patiently waiting.

For me, it is overwhelming that moment of seeing the book for the first time. This might sound a bit poncy, but I have to have a moment of quiet, no public unboxing, just a quiet moment when I feel ready.

It took me 2 years to write it and make the animals, photograph them with the Spring flowers. I didn’t like some of the pictures I’d taken, so I had to wait a whole year for the daffodils and bluebells to bloom again. Retook the photos. Editing and tweaking and then for the first time drawing my own small incidental illustrations of old Shrew’s memories. Making them good enough (because it is never just good) to send.

It is Schrödinger’s book whilst in that box. Simultaneously beautiful and terrible. Until I open the box it is in neither and that is a safe place to be. So I stare at the box and do something else. Usually it takes about 2 hours at least to be able to open the box. I have to wait till a quiet moment when I won’t be disturbed and I have time to react to myself. Sometimes I worry it isn’t good enough, it isn’t like I imagined it to be, sometimes I cry, sometimes I just sit and smile.

So, after about 2 hours of faffing and tidying and doing all the procrastination things that didn’t need doing (at least it is Winter and there are no plants to repot, or it would not be open yet) I carefully opened the box. In silence. No big ta dah on video, no ripping parcels open. Slowly, carefully opening.

A quiet moment just for me.

This time I smiled. I stroked the cover. I had argued with the publishers over the cover, it wasn’t the one I wanted, but that bright yellow is so joyful and Spring filled. I was worried the book would be too crowded as I’d had to edit into less pages, and I was worried my drawings would not be good enough or too small or I don’t know what!

I smiled. That quiet inward smile in your heart when something is just right.

So I am proud of the new book, I am trying to shout about it, but social media is not what it was and the ai slop gets all the engagement and my posts vanish into the ether, but I quietly whisper it is here. It is here for those of you who notice the seasons, who feel deeply, who have pockets of pine cones and feathers after a walk, for those who wonder what gift they would bring to a new one, courage or resilience or love or a small joy each day of their lives. The ones who get why I sit quietly to open a box and not rip it open in public. Everyone who has read it so far has cried. Even my other half who rarely cries and generally says oh that’s nice dear type comments, came in and said I rarely cry, but I nearly did reading that. Its beautiful. So, a book for new born ones born who need welcoming into the world with feathers and acorns and brambles for courage, for young ones who have old relatives who are ready to say goodbye as the bluebells ring, For those in the middle of life pondering and feeling their way through these tough times, for those who are grieving lost parents and those who are full of joy. A book for all ages to celebrate spring and life and death and a life well lived inbetween. A joyful celebration of love and nature and a tribe to surround you as you walk the earth.

Books like that need a quiet moment to whisper them welcome to the world. I hope my quiet whisper will help people find it, I hope it sings to them in a bookshop and I opened the box and did my own unboxing film in my own way, which you can see on soon. There will be an online launch on 24th March too.

In other news, the fire horse galloped in and threw everything in a rush of blimey erm crickey! On the lunar new year/Old lunar Imbolc, we accepted an offer on our house and the same day, our dream house’s sale fell through and it is back on the market. It feels too good to be true from someone who doesn’t think they are the ‘and then this amazing things happened, which is nice’ type person and usually things are tough round the edges, but I am trying to tell myself I deserve a nice house in my budget same as anyone else does, it might just happen. So we are going to look at it this week and hopefully hopefully it is as lovely in real life as an estate agents pics and no one got there before us and our buyer’s mortgage is approved and the new place accepts our offer and erm when do I breathe?

Anyway, things might just fall into place. They might not, but till I open that box, they are possible. Time to do some sweeping.

My friend has got a baby Lupin. Little Ed is 3 months old and we met him last week. My heart melted. Lupin was polite and booped noses which is pretty much the equivalent for him. He’s been sad with all the rain we’ve had.

My grandkid heard me say ‘Hi Honey’ to my other half when arriving home the other day, and then yesterday, as they all came round for lunch, little grandkid walked past Grandpa and said ‘Hi Honey’.

Another heart melt.

My home life is busy beyond busy with boxes of all kinds, so do forgive me if I don’t write as much over the next couple of months, or I don’t post as much. I am going to Sweden to see my family soon, before house move chaos, I have launches to sort and a house to pack up and a collection of creatures to make to link to the book and a house to buy and two of the cats have been to the vets and all those other things that is this glorious thing called life that happens all the same no matter what.

But I’ll let you know how it all goes and in the meantime, if you would care to preorder the new book from me, I’ll be posting them out in a couple of week’s time so you’ll get it before publication day 24th March. Or ask your lovely local bookshop for a copy. And cross appendages and send out good vibes for next week for house joy.

Oh! if you live in the US and would like a copy, contact me as I have a way of getting you a copy with free postage!

Any bookshops reading, do let me know if you order in some copies, I’ll give you a shout out.

And then we can all have that same little moment of the box arriving and taking a moment to appreciate welcoming in something that wants to touch your heart and I hope you want to stroke the cover too.

Ok, I’ve got some sweeping and plant repotting to do in-between boxing up preorders and making shrews before we look at the house

. It’s going to be a long week.

With love from the Shed

Karin